Caitlin's Corner

Finance is Different for Women.

I still remember the moment I realized something was off. A male coworker (let’s call him "Ted") had just been promoted. Again.

Ted and I were friends, which is why I knew some details about his background: lower GPA, less relevant experience, and average performance on our shared project. Meanwhile, I and two other qualified women on the team, who had worked longer, harder, and better, were overlooked.

When I asked my manager what Ted was doing right to keep getting these promotions, the answer was: “He has an MBA.” Except... he didn’t.

What Ted did do was chat casually about investing around the office. It wasn’t relevant to our client work, but it made him sound like “one of the guys.” That image of financial savvy earned him credibility, and promotions- while the women on his team quietly carried more of the workload without recognition. Ted's career, and finances, were able to take off from these early promotions in a way that mine, and my female coworkers' didn't.

This wasn’t just a one-off. It was one of many experiences that revealed something I now know to be true:

Finance is different for women.

It's not just in the workplace. From the expectations we’re held to as girls, to the invisible labor we’re expected to do as women, to the judgment we face when speaking up about money, or our roles or ambitions- the entire landscape is built differently for us.

We’re expected to look a certain way (and spend accordingly), act a certain way (but not too assertive), and earn money (but still do the unpaid caregiving and domestic labor). We often pay more, earn less, and are told we’re bad with money- all while the world tells us that men should make financial decisions and women participate as the spenders.

My own mother gave up a career she loved to raise four kids and run an entire household on a tight budget and sheer grit. She made daily sacrifices to make the numbers work. Yet my father (bless his heart), who unilaterally managed the investments and major financial decisions, labeled her 'the spender' (it's amazing the bill you can rack up at Pathmark feeding a family of six). She carried the stress and blame. He carried the control and freedom.

I never saw this story for what it was until I realized it unfolding in my own life as a mother, in meetings with financial advisors who always looked to my husband for the final word, and in the quiet pressure I felt to downplay my role as a mother at work- while my husband was praised for being a “hands-on dad.”

All of these experiences came rushing back to me as I read Rich Girl Nation by Katie Gatti Tassin. It’s not the first book to tackle personal finance from a female lens, but it’s a refreshingly validating one. KGT isn't just offering tips; she's naming the heavily gendered realities of how women experience money. She's giving voice to the things we’ve all noticed but haven’t always had words for.

Here's the truth that took me a long time to realize, and the reason I shouldn't have been trying to emulate Ted for my first promotion: women don’t need to become more like men to succeed financially.

We can create wealth while being empathetic, strategic, collaborative, motherly, ambitious, and yes, still feminine (in whatever way that means to you). We don’t have to apologize or contort ourselves to fit a broken system.

Finance is different for women. We have to understand how the world has made us think and feel about money, and our role in it. And then we get to rewrite that script.

My mom is a badass who never got to read a book like Rich Girl Nation, or talk to her friends about growing wealth while she was in the thick of motherhood. But her grandkids watch their mother build wealth in a way that was never accessible to her.

Susan and I have been asked a lot: "why just help women?" and our answer is simple: finance is different for women. We’re here to support women who want to design their own version of financial success- grounded in their values, shaped by their choices, and empowered by education, and a community that gets what it’s like to be a woman navigating money in this world. It's what makes Wealth by Design different from other financial programs. It's why we believe so deeply in our mission.

Why Should Finance Be Different For Women

• We're dealing with deeper money mindset baggage. Nearly every woman carries a money story shaped by cultural messages about our worth, our role, and what we "should" want financially—and we need to recognize and rewrite those stories.
• We're held to impossible standards of loyalty and virtue. Society expects us to be more selfless, more committed, and less demanding- especially at work, which can keep us undervalued and underpaid if we don't actively push back.
• We're likely to be managing money solo at some point. Women typically outlive men by several years, which means we need to understand our complete financial picture, not just our piece of it.
• Emergency funds aren't just nice to have- they're survival funds. With higher rates of divorce and domestic abuse, having "FU money" can literally be the difference between staying trapped and being able to leave a dangerous situation.
• We have to negotiate differently just to get what we deserve. Whether it's salary, promotions, or basic workplace boundaries, we're often fighting an uphill battle that requires different strategies and more persistence.
• Our careers need to be more flexible by design. The reality is that caregiving responsibilities- whether for kids, aging parents, or both- still fall disproportionately on women, so we need financial plans that can adapt to career pivots and interruptions.

We live in a broken system that needs fixing, but change takes time, and we can't afford to wait. We need financial strategies that work for our reality. Finance is different for women, and once we stop pretending otherwise, we can start building wealth in ways that actually make sense for our lives.

What I'm Reading

📕 How Jacinda Ardern Changed the Look of Leadership​

"Girls... are taught to collaborate. To be warm, approachable, and well-liked. And when you’ve spent your life trying not to intimidate people, power through dominance can feel not just foreign but fundamentally wrong."

Reflecting on Jacinda Ardern's legacy through this article was a bit of healing I needed today. Ardern's effectiveness in leading with empathy, relatability, and authenticity gives me hope that perhaps major parties will take note, and understand that our leaders don't need to embody power through dominance, bullying, or fitting into the boys' club.

When You're Ready, Here's How We Can Help

Wealth By Design 💜

If you want to learn more about strategies like those in this email, be held accountable, have your questions answered, and get clear on your unique wealth plan, Wealth By Design might be just what you need.